Ads May Not Reflect...yada, yada, yada

I've noticed over the last few days that my Google Adsense Ads have been acting a little funny. When I first put them up they all reflected Blog topics and help sites which is cool with me, but now I get ads for everything from Mike Tyson DVDs to "Support the U.S. Troop Bracelets". I suspect that ads for home equity loans and credit checks aren't far off. I just wanted to say that I have no control over Adsense's content (powered my the almighty Google Algorithm). Just remember that if you see ads for "Support Tom Delay" bracelets or a "Republicans are #1" foam finger, okay? Enjoy the weekend, it's gonna be a scorcher. Cheers.

PCs And Whack MCs

I consider myself fairly well versed in musical genres, but I never saw this coming:

A new hip-hop feud is brewing that glamorizes not guns and 'hos but Java and secure encryption algorithms. While gangsta rap is seen as celebrating the violence and aggression that claimed two of its brightest stars, "geeksta" rap is a hip-hop genre celebrating coding skills and school grades.

Wait, it gets even better:

Also dubbed "nerdcore," this branch of hip-hop is for geeks, by geeks. Geeksta rappers adopt the same combative verbal-assault stylings of their forerunners, but bust rhymes about elite script compiling and dope machine code. - Wired.com (story & image)

Pretty sure that's the first time 'dope' and 'machine code' have ever been seen together in the same sentence. Peace out OGs.

Worn Out Material Girl

Madonna's looking a little rough despite her fondness for new-age medicine (read:quackery):

A big pink quartz stone in Madge's bra is supposed to encourage love and healing. And Madonna is not gearing up for menopause, she is trying to get pregnant. I wonder if Guy has to tape crystals to his balls to encourage love and increased sperm? - Conversations About Famous People

Too bad the ol' botox crystal wasn't around fifteen years ago.
(Thanks to Distressed Jeans for the Pic)

My 'To Do' List

1) Acquire funds (rob a bank? sell a kidney?)
2) Use said funds for massive rock n' roll blowout trip to Chicago on July 23rd and 24th. Lollapalooza lineup:

Trail of Dead, Pixies, The Bravery, Digable Planets, Weezer, Kaiser Chiefs, Cake, Primus, International Noise Conspiracy, Dandy Warhols, The Killers, Spoon,The Arcade Fire, Kasabian. Ben Kweller, Louis XIV, Death Cab for Cutie and DINOSAUR JUNIOR

3) Die a very, very happy man.

Look Back In Anger

Noel Gallagher offers his enlightened view of the Live8 concert series:

"Correct me if I am wrong, but are they hoping that one of these guys from the G8 is going to see Annie Lennox singing Sweet Dreams and think 'f**k me, she might have a point there'.Or Keane doing Somewhere Only We Know and some Japanese businessman looks at him and says 'we should really drop that debt, you know'.It isn't going to happen is it?" - Ananova

Generally, I'm not one to agree with the often-feuding Gallaghers (a little too pissy, even for me) but he kind of has a point. I fully support raising awareness but this isn't exactly a grass-roots political movement. The total cost to put on these shows must be in the millions and I can't help but wonder if it will do a damn thing.

Disappointing 8

This might upset some people but Canada's lineup for Live8 is pitiful. As Toronto Star Columnist Ben Rayner put it:

"Our concert just feels like a lazily programmed, rather half-hearted afterthougt" - CBC.ca

And Billboard's Larry Leblanc echoes the sentiment saying that:

"It's woefully out of touch with what's going on in today's music in Canada," he said. "Where is Nickelback, where is Feist, where is Death From Above 1979, where is Arcade Fire?" - Canada.com

Now I disagreee with the Nicklecrap part of that statement but he's right. A sample of our lineup:

Bryan Adams, Jann Arden(?), Bachman-Cummings Band, Barenaked Ladies, Bruce Cockburn, Deep Purple (wtf?), Great Big Sea, Motley Crue (huh?), Gordon Lightfoot, Simple Plan, and the Tragically No-Longer-Hip, and Celine Dion (Stick Figure Spawn of Satan) will appear live from Vegas.

A few of the other Live8 gigs:

Coldplay, Elton John, Madonna, Mariah Carey, Paul McCartney, Pink Floyd, Snoop Dogg, Sting and the Who at London's Hyde Park; Crosby, Stills and Nash, Brian Wilson, Lauryn Hill and Green Day at Berlin's Brandenburg Gate; Duran Duran, Faith Hill and Tim McGraw at Rome's Circus Maximus; Dave Matthews Band, Destiny's Child, Jay-Z, Linkin Park, Maroon 5, P. Diddy and Stevie Wonder at Philadelphia's Museum of Art. - Rolling Stone

Which one will you be watching live on TV?

The BS-Factor

FOX News' right-wing darling Bill O'Reilly has some choice words for all us lefties out there, especially the pinkos at Air America (Al Franken that means you!):

...Americans "must know the difference between dissent from the Iraq war and the war on terror and undermining it," and that "any American who undermines that war ... is a traitor."

And the drivel continues:

"So, all those clowns at the liberal radio network, we could incarcerate them immediately. Will you have that done, please? Send over the FBI and just put them in chains, because they, you know, they're undermining everything and they don't care." - Media Matters

Apocalypse Now (Or In The Next Decade)

Nuclear non-proliferation just ain't what it used to be. I find the following very disturbing:

There is a 70-percent risk of an attack somewhere in the world with a weapon of mass destruction in the next decade, arms experts predicted in a survey released on Tuesday.They also said up to five more countries are likely to acquire nuclear weapons within the next 10 years. - Reuters

If I had a backyard I'd start building a fallout shelter...acutally that's a complete lie, I'd probably just play more xbox.

He Won't Be Back

It seems the Governator's days in office are limited. I guess California's non-partisan voters aren't down with Arnie's brand of non-partisan politics:

Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger suddenly ranks among the most unpopular governors in modern California history, as residents grow increasingly unhappy about the action hero-turned-politician's budget plans and his call for a special election, according to a new Field Poll. - SFGate.com

Incredibly Shrinking Diva

According to all the gossip rags, and several respectable sources, Lindsay Lohan pulled a total diva dash at her latest premiere (seen above in a lovely before and after that took me 45min to do...grrr):

The star stormed out of Hollywood's El Capitan Theatre after she realized that her new song appears in the movie's closing credits, not in an action scene, reports USA Today..."I was like, 'Whoa,' because nobody stays to hear the song in the closing credits. So I ran out." - DOSE.ca

And then I was like, "Whoa, I guess drugs, diet pills, and a healthy dose of uber-b***ch make you skittish".

To Serve And...*hic... Protect

The scary part:

Cedar Park Police say they caught another member of law enforcement drunk behind the wheel. They say 40-year-old Austin Police officer Daniel Armstrong was passed out behind the wheel of his truck early Wednesday morning.

The priceless part:

The police report shows Armstrong was unaware of his surroundings. When asked how much he had had to drink, he replied not enough. - KXAN36.com

Damn Dirty Apes & Fat Cat Politicians

Surprisingly, two very unique pieces of art recently sold for thousands of dollars. The first by a chimpanzee who died of TB in 1964:

...paintings by Congo the chimpanzee sold at auction for more than $25,000. The three abstract, tempera paintings were auctioned at Bonhams in London alongside works by impressionist master Renoir and pop art provocateur Andy Warhol. But while Warhol's and Renoir's work didn't sell, bidders lavished attention on Congo's paintings. - The Houston Chronicle

And the following gives new meaning to 'trimming the fat':

An art work purportedly made from excess fat from Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi has been sold for $18,000 (£9,862). - BBC News

That's just nasty.

Cruise Missile Part Deux

I promise that, unless Maverick goes totally bonkers, this will be my last Cruise Missile post. I couldn't pass this up:

Tom Cruise’s sci-fi seduction technique scared the bejeezus out of Scarlett Johansson, a source close to the actress says. Weeks before he began wooing his brainwashed bride-to-be, Cruise made repeated phone calls to the 19-year-old starlet—who was then set to co-star with him in Mission Impossible III—imploring her to meet him at the Scientology Celebrity Center in L.A.

And it continued within the lair of the beast:

After two hours of proselytizing, our source says Cruise opened a door to reveal a second room full of upper-level Scientologists who had been waiting to dine with the pair, at which point the cool-headed ingenue politely excused herself. Soon after the meeting, Johansson dropped out of Mission Impossible III - Radarmagazine.com

Luckily she escaped before the ceremonial reading of the Battlefield Earth Script....*shudder...

Frightening Absurdities

This week's roundup of things that make me confused, befuddled, stunned, and totally frightened. It seems the U.S. gov't has taken an unhealthy interest in what its citizens read:

Law enforcement officials have made at least 200 formal and informal inquiries to libraries for information on reading material and other internal matters since October 2001, according to a new study...In some cases, agents used subpoenas or other formal demands to obtain information like lists of users checking out a book on Osama bin Laden. - NY Times (Registration Required)

Meh, civil liberties are over-rated anyways. The federally sponsored high-rewards-for-complete-incompetence/idiocy program continues to make the world a better place:

The U.S. Defense Secretary, Donald Rumsfeld, is considering new top command assignments that would possibly include promoting Lieutenant General Ricardo Sanchez, the former American commander in Iraq during the Abu Ghraib prison abuse scandal, U.S. military officials say. - Herald Tribune

And, on a final note, Walter "Freedom Fries" Jones has changed his tune on Iraq:

...the Republican congressman for North Carolina who was also the brains behind french toast becoming freedom toast in Capitol Hill restaurants, told a local newspaper the US went to war "with no justification". - Guardian Unlimited

Jones was seen earlier today on the steps of Capitol Hill eating a "Moron" Sandwich (formerly called a Reuben).

Yeeeehaw!

Ashton Kutcher goes 'method' for his Dukes Of Hazzard audition. It must be tough for a real (*ahem) actor to lose out on a part to Johnny Knoxville who, according to sources, is an actual skid.
(please note: all of the above is completely made up)

The Perfect Crap

Ahhh, another beauty movie review from Pajiba.com. These guys crack me so thoroughly up:

You know, The Perfect Man really caught me off guard. Not because it's a terrible Frankenstein mishmash of contrivances; not because it's pointless waste of time and money; and not because it shames the usage of an artistic medium. What really caught me off guard was how offensive all of it was. Quite simply put: This film is bad for you. Seriously, this stupid teeny rom-com has the capacity to assault both the IQ and the quality of life of anyone who has the misfortune to see it.