On A Hot Summer Night

I'm heading up to cottage country for the weekend. Posts will resume Sunday evening. Cheers.

Bad Ass Space Painter

Lando is now a painter (a poor one by the looks of it). What has the world come to?

Billy Dee Williams' World Art

The highlight (?) is Billy Dee's artistic interpretation of his Lando Calrissian character....

Gamers Everywhere Get Tingly Feeling

If you are an avid gamer nerd and you just felt a tingling sensation in your bathing suit area this is probably why:

20th Century Fox and Universal Pictures are teaming to make a feature film adaptation of the Microsoft video game "Halo" says Reuters...The deal -- based on a script by "28 Days Later" scribe Alex Garland -- caused a stir earlier in the week when CAA sent it out via a messenger clad in a "Halo"-esque green costume. - Darkhorizons.com

Vive La Quebec Libre!

This won't have any relevance to anyone living outside Canada. Christ, it might not have any relevance to anyone living outside Quebec or Ontario, but I can't pass this up. This pisses me off to no freakin' end and our retarded government is too busy clowning around with Gomery to take notice of another brewing national crisis. Some have said that the biggest fallout of the sponsorship scandal will be the rebirth (or revitalization) of Separatism and a renewed fight for Quebec sovereignty. Well blow me down, the f***ing seeds of discontent are being sown as we speak:

The Office Québécois de la langue française has ordered the town of Richmond to virtually ban English, the association charges. The Townshippers say the English-speaking minority is being unjustly punished. Officials from the OLF recently did a routine check at the Richmond municipal offices to see whether the town was applying the language laws. In a letter, the language police ordered drastic changes, including: The town can no longer have a bilingual telephone message. All employees must speak French in the workplace. English labels on the fax machine and air conditioner will have to be changed to French. - CBC.ca

Zut Alors! Not only is this ridiculous, it's probably unconstitutional! Words (in English or freakin'french) cannot express how mad I am right now...

*Shudder

Lil' Kim obviously had the ol' makeup gun set on whore. I think I'm going to have nightmares....(Image courtesy of A Socialite's Life)

The Emancipation of Craptacular Music

Mariah Carey's latest offering of over-produced musical pablum, The Emancipation of Mimi, knocked Audioslave out of Billboard's number 1 spot. This injustice proves yet again that most people don't have a freakin' clue when it comes to decent music:

Still, on ballads like "Mine Again," she wails notes that don't need emphasizing, then whispers what would ordinarily be climactic phrases, and the outcome doesn't make emotional or musical sense - Rolling Stone

So even with the help of some serious talent (Neptunes, Kanye West) the album is considered mediocre, at BEST. Oh and Mariah, lay off the industrial tan in a tube, you look slightly nuclear.

Social Economics For Dummies

More than half of Americans now belive the war on Iraq has done nothing to make them safer (and nearly 3/4 think the number of casualties is "unacceptable"). Focus has started to shift to Fearless Leader's economic clusterf**ck. The debt is still rising and the job rate is still in the shitter:

Since Great Depression no other president who served at least 52 months has overseen a net loss in private sector jobs through this point...Through May 2005 private sector jobs are down 24,000. - Center For American Progress

But job loss is just the tip of the iceberg. Corporate tax cuts increasingly widen the gap between the classes:

Consider also that the average wage of the American worker has stagnated -- and even declined slightly -- since the end of the recession in 2001. In the meantime the ratio of CEO pay to the wages of an average worker has skyrocketed from 145:1 in 2002 to 240:1 last year. - Tim Dickinson on the RSBlog

And the rich get richer:

Those earning more than $10 million a year now pay a lesser share of their income in these taxes than those making $100,000 to $200,000. - NY Times

Brand New Diet

Tired of non-fat chai soy grande lattees (sp?) and cocaine/ephedrine sprinkled no-carb muffins Mary-Kate finally succumbs to starvation and decides to eat her lower lip.

I'd Rather Be Under The Sea

I don't condone smuggling by any stretch of the imagination, but I do understand the motivation of keistering a few pounds of your favorite illegal substance before starting the ol' vacation. Smuggling fish, on the other hand, leaves me baffled:

The 43-year-old woman arrived in Melbourne from Singapore on Friday and drew the attention of customs officers intrigued by "flipping" noises coming from under her skirt, a customs service spokesperson said...agents found the fish in 15 water-filled plastic bags held in a specially built apron concealed under her skirt. - iafrica.com

For decency's sake I will avoid any 'fishy smell' jokes.

And Here's To You Mrs. Robinson

On Tuesday, Oscar winning actress Anne Bancroft succumbed to uterine cancer at the age of 73. As Mrs. Robinson in The Graduate she gave hope to scores of young cougar hunting men in the late 60s and 70s. Bancroft on her most famous role:

She said in 2003 that nearly everyone discouraged her from playing the role of Dustin Hoffman's middle-aged seductress "because it was all about sex with a younger man." Yet Bancroft saw something deeper, viewing the character as having unfulfilled dreams and having been relegated to a conventional life with a conventional husband. - AP News

Romper Stomper Telephone Tosser

Just in case you've been in a cave for the last few days here's a lovely pic of tough guy Russell Crowe fresh from a night at Chateau First Police Precinct.

A Fine Family Tradition

The talentless (and by all accounts nippless) Kelly Osbourne kept up a long standing family tradition by checking into rehab earlier this week:

Osbourne entered the Pasadena facility on Thursday, Us Weekly reported Friday...A family representative told the magazine that Kelly Osbourne was "dealing with some personal issues" and would be back in a few weeks. - ABC News

I'm sure mum and dad are proud.

"I ain't crazy b**ch!"

The incredibly dissapearing Dave Chappellle has been popping up in L.A. comedy clubs. The third season of his hit show was slated to start shooting at the end of May, but to everyone's surprise he took off to Africa for a "spiritual retreat". Of course he denies reports of him checking into a mental health facility. Spiritual retreat, nervous breakdown, rehab - not so different in Lalaland:

The comedian dropped in unannounced at two popular comedy clubs Thursday night, saying he had just arrived in Los Angeles and felt like performing, Daily Variety reported Friday. - Canada.com

Things That Make You Go "Hmm"

I suppose the the cost of any war is relative but here's a bit of context:

Annual cost of all sixteen U.N. peacekeeping missions currently underway : $3,870,000,000[United Nations Department of Peacekeeping Operations (N.Y.C.)]

Monthly cost of the U.S. occupation of Iraq :
$4,100,000,000[U.S. Department of Defense]

Revenue from Iraqi oil sales that the CPA could not account for, according to a 2005 audit : $8,800,000,000[Special Inspector General for Iraq Reconstruction (Arlington, Va.)] - from Harpers Index

That's a lot of zeroes.

Maximus Arrestus

All around nice guy Russell Crowe was arrested early this morning for tossing a phone at a hotel employee in Manhattan. Tsk, tsk, Russell, throwing heavy objects at people ain't cool. Crowe:

...allegedly threw the phone at the Mercer Hotel employee, striking him in the face, during an argument at around 4:20 a.m., said police spokesman Sgt. Mike Wysokowski.-Yahoo/AP

Arguing and throwing stuff at 4:20am? I wonder if booze was involved...

Do Chickens Have Big Talons?

The surprisingly normal looking Jon Heder took home a few MTV Movie Awards last night for Napolean Dynamite. The indie flick about a socially maladjusted teen in Idaho also won the Best Movie Award. Heder won for Breakthrough Male Performance and Best Musical Performance for his mad dance skills. Napolean handed out some props when he accepted the award:

"I want to thank Michael Jackson, John Travolta, Justin Timberlake," Heder said, referring to the inspirations for his dance moves. - Yahoo/AP

Satan "Gets Served"

It sounds like indie-low-fi darlings The White Stripes have another hit on their hands with Get Behind Me Satan, which hits stores and Ipods everywhere on June 7th (Tuesday). I hope Rolling Stone's "we're not worthy" style review is on the mark:

But the music is so wild, it could make you weep over how pitilessly the Stripes keep crushing the other bands out there...If you happen to be a rock band, and you don't happen to be either of the White Stripes, it so sucks to be you right now. - RollingStone.com

Whoa, settle down now. At least buy them a drink first.