Thursday, June 30, 2005

Happy Canada Day


This is the best possible Canada Day gift anyone could have hoped for:

Friday is also the day for the final episode of Train 48, Global TV's cancelled supper-hour soap on rails... It is Canada Day on the train, though, which raises the question of why the regulars were commuting on a holiday, especially since it's nighttime outside the train windows, so it would be pretty late on a July evening. - Canada.com

Global, you have my sincerest thanks. Enjoy the long weekend and , of course, the patriotic binge drinking. Cheers.

Tears Are Not Enough

It's incredible what can happen when people around the world work towards a common, and honorable goal. As Canada Day debauchery and the long weekend fast approach, I urge you to remember your humanity and please visit this site.

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

The Compassion Of The Mel?


I know the justice system is a little flawed but this seems incredibly unreasonable:

An Idaho drifter convicted of stalking Mel Gibson was sentenced Wednesday to three years in prison. Zack Sinclair, who had confronted Gibson after the release of the actor-director's film The Passion of the Christ, was convicted in March. - MSN Entertainment

Clearly this Sinclair guy is a little unbalanced, I mean he REALLY liked The Passion of The Christ. Sinclair probably belongs in a mental institution not a prison. Especially considering Mel's testimony at the trial:
"He wasn't scary or overly threatening," Gibson testified today of his face-to-face encounter with Sinclair, who was escorted out of the chapel after the incident. "But he didn't have a sense of personal boundaries."..."My wife was upset and worried. She didn't want to find him in the living room drinking tea," - Christian News
So this guy gets 3 years for NOT being threatening or scary, and because having tea apparently scares the bejeezus out of Mrs. Gibson? Now that I think about it, having tea with the Gibson flock is kind of frightening.

The Redbull & Vodka Diet


All kidding aside (well, okay not ALL) Lindsay is wasting away and needs our help:

Super-skinny star Lindsay Lohan prompted yet more fears for her health after she reportedly collapsed at her LA gym. The Mean Girls star was halfway through an hour-long spinning sesh when she became pale and began gasping for breath. - Ananova.com

I'll ignore the use of the word 'sesh' for now because the real issue is Ms. Lohan's narcotically induced weight loss. Maybe it was the breakup with Fez, maybe it was being digitally cup reduced by the evil Disney Corp., who really cares? But for the sake of every self-image questioning young girl out there eat a big mac or a hoagie or something.

The Second Coming


According to legitimate and dependable sources War of the Worlds, suprisingly, doesn't suck. Only time will tell if Tommy's blossoming relationship with (brainwashing of) Katie Holmes will help or hurt the flick at the box-office. We have to remember that before dating Scientology's Messianic Cruise Missile , Katie had a fine acting career of her own so her motives are as pure as Olsen grade blow . I'm sure alienating everyone who's ever been in therapy (92.6% of L.A. and NYC) isn't going to help.

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Imagine Me And You....


This is so sweet it almost made me gag on my Air Force One M&Ms:

...Bush and Clinton said their friendly relationship should demonstrate to people at home and abroad that political rivalries need not stand in the way of personal friendship. - Yahoo/AP (pic also from AP)

Tell that to John Stewart and Tucker Carlson. My opinion? I think the two former presidents fell in love when they saw each other in matching blue blazers at the Superbowl.

Lettin' It All Hang Out


I understand that Britney wants to settle down in a trailer park somewhere and have a ton of lil' mullet sportin' babies with her skid hubby but for the love of god some freakin' clothes on! Talk about letting yourself go. She's certainly come a long way from being every teenage boy's fantasy. Britney's a few years away from being a full on cracked-out former diva.
(Thanks once again to Distressed Jeans for the lovely [*shudder] pic)

Dick + Rummy = Dummy



The White House is usually pretty good at keeping its people 'on message'. No matter how inaccurate the information, the talking heads generally all sing the same tune. I think the latest poll, which suggests serious lack of confidence in the War on Iraq, is evidence that the wheels are coming off. For example here's Cheney on Larry King about a month ago:

The insurgency in Iraq is "in the last throes," Vice President Dick Cheney says, and he predicts that the fighting will end before the Bush administration leaves office. - CNN.com

And he continues to go balls out:

Cheney said he was not backing down from his remark. "If you look at what the dictionary says about throes, it can still be a violent period, the throes of a revolution," Cheney said in an interview with CNN. - Reuters

Meanwhile:

The top American military commander in the Persian Gulf disputed a contention by Vice President Dick Cheney that the Iraqi insurgency was in its “last throes” and told Congress on Thursday that its strength was basically undiminished from six months ago. Furthermore, Gen. John Abizaid told the Senate Armed Services Committee, “I believe there are more foreign fighters coming into Iraq than there were six months ago.” - AP/MSNBC.com

And, of course, Rummy throws in his (conflicting) two cents:

The Iraqi insurgency could stretch on for more than a decade, U.S. Defence Secretary Donald Rumsfeld said as he played down meetings between American officials and militant leaders. - CBC.ca

A confliciting message equals bad politics. Arguably, conistent messaging is the number one rule; even if the message is wrong (as in this case) everyone in the administration should be on the same page. I suspect Bush's address today will, in part, be an effort to put his boys in line. Karl Rove, or as I affectionately call him "The Puppet Master" is probably pretty pissed (oooh, alliteration).

Monday, June 27, 2005

Capitalism Ate My Children

Sorry, I couldn't find an image that did the following story justice. I tried typing various forms of 'money-grubbing spawn of lucifer' and 'evil capitalist mastermind' into Google Images but to no avail. Before I continue, I'd just like to point out that I'm as much of a consumer as the next guy and I thoroughly enjoy North America's little free market economy. That being said this feels a little wrong, in a "My dad's a capitalist pimp" kind of way (original was in caps):
WE'RE PLANNING ON TRAVELING AROUND THE US THIS SUMMER AND ARE SELLING AD SPACE-- ON US--TO FUND OUR FAMILY VACATION! THE MORE MONEY WE RAISE, THE MORE PLACES WE CAN VISIT. AD SPACE AVAILABLE ON A DAILY BASIS (I.E. $100 PER PERSON (5 PERSONS) PER DAY) FOR 2 ADULTS AND 3 CHILDREN: AGES 30, 29, AND GIRLS 4, 3 AND 12 MONTHS. ADVERTISING INCLUDES TASTEFUL HATS, T-SHIRTS, JACKETS OR BABY/ KIDS GEAR. ADVERTISING WOULD INCLUDE WEAR OF YOUR LOGO, WEB SITE, ETC - Ebay.com

Poor Box-Office Numbers (?!?)


I can't really imagine why anybody is scratching their heads over this quandry:

Revenues for the top 12 movies came in at $116.5 million, down 16 percent from the same weekend last year...It was the 18th weekend in a row the box office declined, passing a 1985 slump of 17 weekends that had been the longest since analysts began keeping detailed figures on movie grosses. - AP/Yahoo

Movie execs are quick to point the finger at downloading and the increasing popularity of DVD rentals as a cause of poor ticket sales. Maybe the overall suck-factor of most major movies has something to do with it? Look at the endless parade of crap that has come out in the last few months/year. The blame should be rested squarely on the shoulders of the major studios who continue to remake old (mediocre) TV shows and movies that weren't even succesful the first time around. Nostalgia and kitch can't carry a movie to six weeks at number one. Instead of running PSA'a for anti-piracy theatres should start running ads about the lost art of script-writing or plot development. Downloading? Give me a freakin' break.

Prepare For Probing


The truth behind the Cruise Missile's wEIrd behavior is finally revealed. Let's all pray that he sticks to acting and avoids directing/producing/writing.
(Thanks to Conversations About Famous People for the artwork)