The Redbull & Vodka Diet

All kidding aside (well, okay not ALL) Lindsay is wasting away and needs our help:

Super-skinny star Lindsay Lohan prompted yet more fears for her health after she reportedly collapsed at her LA gym. The Mean Girls star was halfway through an hour-long spinning sesh when she became pale and began gasping for breath. - Ananova.com

I'll ignore the use of the word 'sesh' for now because the real issue is Ms. Lohan's narcotically induced weight loss. Maybe it was the breakup with Fez, maybe it was being digitally cup reduced by the evil Disney Corp., who really cares? But for the sake of every self-image questioning young girl out there eat a big mac or a hoagie or something.